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Completed: 10:55 PM 17/3/2010
  • Tuesday, October 26, 2010
    • Ineffable

    I’m such a letdown.

    I promised myself to do well for last high school exam. I wanted to make my family proud. I wanted to make my teachers & mentor proud. I wanted to make my team proud. I want to appreciate myself. I wanted to acknowledge that I’m as smart as others.
    But life doesn’t allow me to. The blame is mine alone. Is my intellect really inferior to the rest? Sometimes i hate it that the above people love & care so much about me, because time & time again, I’ve let them down.

    Sorry – but to who & whom? Am I just living my life for others? I understand our hard work should be for ourselves, not for others. But I just can’t my motivation.

    To all the above questions, I don’t need feeble opinions; I don’t need hollow encouragements; I don’t need worthless confirmations. I need results; I need to find my art of war; I need to find my purpose in life.

    I’m in misery. There ain’t nobody who can comfort me. There are words that don’t belong. I build up hope, but failures all I’ve known. I feel cold & lost in desperation. When all else fails, who do you turn to? With downcast eyes, there’s more to living than being alive. Don’t try to wake me up, even if the sun really does come out tomorrow.

    Why am I such a failure?

    I’ve failed in every single aspect of life, in every aspect of the word.



    I know that it will hurt, I know that it will break your heart, the way things are, and the way they've been. Don't spread the discontent, don't spread the lies, don't make the same mistakes with your own life. ~ "Break Your Heart" by Natalie Merchant

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    ♡━ ♡┛┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━♡┛     at 9:32 PM